Musings...

While at work today I was looking through my other blog, the one I have used specifically for being really bitchy, and to my infinite surprise found a "positive" entry I forgot I wrote. It's one I like because it's about memories I have from my childhood. It was a fun one to write too, because I wasn't complaining, judging or being negative...just thoughtful. So because most of what I've been writing about is negative crap, I thought I'd share something positive for a change.

"Until the city fixed them, the drains on Eland Drive would overflow and run down the hill to Springbok Road. In the winter, these rivers would freeze over and become icy slip 'n slides. So, coming home from elementary school, or when we were bored, we would slide down the ice slides into the street below. We'd try to slide down on our feet the entire way down. Nine times out of ten we would end up on our well-insulated asses. It was a substitute for tobogganing, since it rarely snowed.

"Looking back on my childhood, it seems we always invented playgrounds. Not that we didn't have any man-made playgrounds. We just liked playing in the back alley or empty lots more. More room to innovate new games. Only in the Beaver Lodge Lands could we set traps for slugs. Only in our basement could we have made a fort out of a fridge box and deck chairs. It was the best thing ever, until my mom refused to let us sleep in it. It was because of our forts that my dad learned to store the deck chairs in the garage. If he left them in the basement, they became building material. So, for fear that we would break his precious investments, he learned to keep them elsewhere during the winter.

"None of this is of particular interest to you is it? At the very least it's amusing. I realized that I usually write about negative things such as people or events that piss me off. I figured I'd change it up a bit and write about something which is completely inoffensive, even frivolous.

"I think it's important to remember your childhood. It keeps you young. It reminds you to have fun and to not take things so seriously. It makes me laugh to think that when I was 9 I couldn't wait to be older. I couldn't wait to be in high school with make up, breasts, high heels. And now, I wish I didn't have to wear make up or bras to look presentable (I will always love high heels though). I wish I could make forts with deck furniture and slide down frozen ice all day...and not look insane. Instead I spend my time working at a job that does not inspire me, and freaking out about my future and my life's direction...if it even has one. Why is it our lot to always want to be where we aren't? A child wants nothing more than to be grown up and a grown up wants nothing more than to be a carefree child...or retired. Why can we never live in the present? When I'm no longer 22 I'll wish I still was. Maybe it's because we are taught to think about what happens next and never what is happening now. Right now, I have all the opportunity and choice in the world. I have no boundaries...except monetary ones. I have my health and youth. I can take whichever direction I want in life. You have all these things too. For some reason all this choice scares me. I want someone to tell me what to do...don't you? I don't feel informed or experienced enough to know what to do with my own life! Jesus...

"This digressed VERY far from where I began...aren't those the best letters and conversations though? I think so. Less contrived and much more honest."