Hundreds and Thousands

Friday, March 31, 2006

Poetry Reading

I've been having something of a stressful time lately. So much so, I hate the word "stress" now because I use it so frequently. Between essays (my last 3 are due next week) and 6 upcoming exams, my nerves are a little frayed. Everyone has things that calm them down, whether it be a hot drink, a cigarette, a bath, sex...for me it's all of those things sometimes, but for the last few days it has been poetry. Poetry I know, poetry I admire, poetry I love. So I thought I'd share some of my favourite selections from Canadian poetry with you...ok, I know most of you probably don't read poetry, know any poetry, or even like poetry...but bear with me, I think I can guarantee that even if you get nothing else out of this, you will at the least appreciate these poems for the beauty of their language.

"The Cinnamon Peeler" by Michael Ondaatje

If I were a cinnamon peeler
I would ride your bed
and leave the yellow bark dust
on your pillow.

Your breasts and shoulders would reek
you could never walk through markets
without the profession of my fingers
floating over you. The blind would
stumble certain of whom they approached
though you might bathe
under rain gutters, monsoon.

Here on the upper thigh
at this smooth pasture
neighbour to your hair
or the crease
that cuts your back. This ankle.
You will be known among strangers
as the cinnamon peeler's wife.

I could hardly glance at you
before marriage
never touch you
- your keen nosed mother, your rough brothers.
I buried my hands
in saffron, disguised them
over smoking tar,
helped the honey gatherers...

When we swam once
I touched you in water
and our bodies remained free,
you could hold me and be blind of smell.
You climbed the bank and said

this is how you touch other women
the grass cutter's wife, the lime burner's daughter.
And you searched your arms
for the missing perfume

and knew

what good is it
to be the lime burner's daughter
left with no trace
as if not spoken to in the act of love
as if wounded without the pleasure of a scar.

You touched
your belly to my hands
in the dry air and said
I am the cinnamon
peeler's wife. Smell me.

"Rage" by Lee Maracle

I scream my rage
at the pages of a book
that I might treat
people - humanly.

"Words" by Lee Maracle

On my desk sits a big, fat dictionary
thick -- oh it's thick
obese with words.

Opening and closing it is the sum total
of my physical movement these days.

I'm tired
tired
torn
weary
without initiative

The phone rings I bubble out a stupid hello.

"How are you?"

"Oh, I'm fine," but it is a lie.

The hunger in my life
The absence of joy.

The fire in me blanketed by billboards,
of blonde women and pink, perfumed rose petals

But no one wants to hear that -- they want only words

(pretty, sweet lyrics)
(senseless limericks)
(and honeyed poetics)

"Eros" by Erin Skye Robinsong

I bought two goldfish
and named them Dallas Road
and West Broadway.
Their traffic wound
in a bowl
of streets that will never intersect.
But they had wings.
Full of water.

"Arrows" by Erin Skye Robinsong

Le coeur blesse par son grand amour.
How else.
Walking home
the water is like mercury
and the stars are shot
and it isn't a matter of love or lack of
it is bright running things
and stones.

If you've gotten this far, I have to admit I'm impressed. I got a little carried away...and this is only scratching the surface. I know poetry is an acquired taste for most people, and I don't blame them...But I do hope you liked at least some of what you read.

Saturday, March 25, 2006

Good News

Two good things have happened recently. (I know, shock and awe she has something positive to say!) First: I finally got a laptop. After weeks of research and hours trying to convince my dad I wasn't wasting my money I finally got one! It's a Sony VAIO and I'm sure someone will tell me I made the wrong choice but I don't give a shit. I love it and it works the way I want it to. It's been so amazing to be able to work on my essays and research without being confined to the computer desk. I'm sitting on my couch right now! It's also been really great in my classes. I can just sit there and type away. I'm no longer writing my hand off. And the best part is I can go online and play games when I'm bored with the class. The day goes by much faster!

Second: I have a job interview!! I have been having one hell of a time trying to find a job which interests me and one I'm capable of doing. Believe me, there are plenty of jobs for labourers, journeyman, carpenters...i.e. men or she-men...but not for me. There was a close call last week. I had an interview with an art gallery in the Empress. I was really excited; thinking I could use my degree in some way and learn something about the art industry. But I was so so wrong. He was looking for someone with a particular attitude, not aptitude. He told me he was looking for someone extroverted, talkative, persuasive...basically a car salesman type. Unfortunately, that is not me. I could have lied and pretended to be like that, but the fact is, I don't want to be like that. He told me that the training and the hours were intensive, but that by the end of it I could sell anything to anyone. I don't want that skill. I hate people like that. I hate people that approach me in stores and push their sales pitches on me. I want them to leave me alone, if I'm going to buy something I will without you talking me into it. If I need some information I will ask you. I will not become the type of person I loathe to be accosted by in a store. I was hoping for a work environment that appreciated art and its patrons, what I was offered was a job which treats art as a luxury product only and people like wallets by a man I would never want to work for. So I didn't take the position and kept looking. My mom gave me the idea to apply everywhere...even BCAA. I had my doubts, but I thought, the more irons in the fire the better. And lo and behold who should give me a phone call today but the office manager of BCAA. I'm really hoping I like this job. It's insurance, but it's with a company that will allow me to grow out of that position. In the meantime helping people plan their vacations doesn't sound so bad, especially with the benefits! So, the interview is on Tuesday at 1:30...I'm really nervous, but I think it will go smoothly, at least I hope it will! Wish me luck! I'll keep you posted.

Children vs. Cell Phones

In a restaurant, and I'm thinking of a nice restaurant here not Swiss Chalet, most waiters will tell you to refrain from speaking on a cell phone so as not to disturb the other customers. However, do you ever see them checking the behaviour of children? Hell no. They're children, sent from God, adorable...They could smear mashed potatoes all over the wall next to them and it would be ignored. I just don't get it. How can talking on a cell phone be more annoying to patrons than a screaming spoiled child? Moreover, why do parents even take children into nice places? Because ever child needs the opportunity to mangle a $15 dinner? There are family friendly places, which serve decent food and are geared toward a family clientele, and there are not. In family friendly restaurants you expect to see children, you expect the noise and the muck...I even brace myself for it. I realize there are people that know and respect this. My parents knew this, I know this, I'm sure you know this. But the fact remains, there are people who don't. So there I sit time and again eating a $20 meal (which is a treat for me! and I want to enjoy it) and there is the unbearable noise of a bratty kid. Yet, a cell phone is more annoying than this...apparently.

Alright now that I've vented my frustrations I'm sure you all think that I am a hater of children...But I'm not! I simply think there is a place for them! Children are beautiful and wonderful gifts...but they do not belong everywhere. Wouldn't you agree?

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Do I smell a cover up?

Well, it finally happened. After all the close calls a BC ferry finally sank. The Queen of the North rules no longer. I can't say that I'm all that surprised. Being that the fleet is 40 years old give or take a few years, who could be? I'm just more than a little surprised at the excuse. And that's what it is, an excuse, not a reason. I just can't believe that this ferry hit a rock in a stretch of water it has been traversing for decades. It seems a little mysterious to me. It seems like an excuse to cover a major failure on their part. Maybe not, but it's just not adding up correctly in my mind.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Shameless Self Promotion

I hate job hunting. Hate it. I can't stand wasting hours upon hours handing out resumes for what seems like no outcome. It's so aggravating. I was hoping that by the time I had a degree I would know what I wanted for a career. But I only find myself 4 years older and $68,000 poorer. I have education and no experience...except in areas I absolutely abhor (i.e. insurance and cashier). Oh, and the kicker is, I might need more education! Because if I continue to wish to be an editor or work in any part of the publishing world, I will have to get a postgraduate diploma specializing in those areas...meaning another 8 months of school. Go me. So that guarantees me 2 years more in Vic at least. After that who knows where. I have a feeling if I stay in publishing I'll be in Toronto before long, but I have really no idea. For now, I've decided to take this year "off" to work somewhere and develop my writing portfolio. I have to submit 20-30 pages of my writing with my application next March. Non-fiction too...so I'll be writing social commentaries, biography, travel, journalism....Warning: I'll be picking your brains for ideas. But for now, I'm trying to find a job that pays more than $9 per hour. I'll never make rent otherwise!

Job hunting is full time job. This is what my mom tells me...and oh how I hate hearing it. Every spring I go through this. The only difference this year is that I'll be searching in Vic not CR. So I am hoping this change in location will make my luck better. CR predominantly employs males, unless it's for an office position, so I don't really have luck there. Nothing is more irritating than hearing that one of your male friends has got a job at the mine making $17/hour to clean equipment. Meanwhile, I'm stuck in an estrogen bomb of an office dealing with stupid people all day making a measly $8/hour...so unfair. But I digress...Vic is more tourist run in the summer, so I should have more luck than in CR. And I do have experience with tourists...I don't particularly like them, but I do know how to deal with them.

So, it's time for shameless self promotion. Time to screw on my smile and make a good impression...Time to hope I won't have to fall back on my insurance training to get me through! Wish me Luck!