Food

I don't like to think I'm a picky eater...but I know I am. I have weird preferences...or at least some people think so.

I like peppers only when they're raw. I like mushrooms only when they're cooked. I only eat Japanese oranges. I like peanut butter off a spoon. I like too much vinegar on my fries. I love every kind of cheese, except the kind with fruit in it (what the hell is that?). I like mayonnaise in my grilled cheese sandwiches (try it!). I like extra pickles on my #5 meal at the arches (or what used to be the 5 meal). I only like my mom's recipe for chicken wings, cheese cake and chocolate pie.

The big food dislike I have is seafood. I used to hate it because of the smell. I had never eaten it, I just knew I didn't like it. I think it stemmed from a traumatic experience I had when I was 2. My mom brought me into a seafood store and the smell offended me so much I started feeling really nauseated. She's told me that ever since then I have hated the sight, smell and idea of seafood. So for years I wouldn't go near it. People thought I was nuts: "You live on the coast and hate seafood?!" However, in recent years I've braved seafood territory. I've tried scallops, mussels, clams and oysters with great success and now like them if cooked and prepared well. Calamari, prawns and shrimp...that's a different story. It's the texture. I can't get over it. Calarmari feels like a balloon in my mouth, the crunch of prawns just nauseates me and shrimp are too salty. I don't like most fish, unless it's disguised. I'm trying to get over that though. I'm starting to like fish. I want to like fish, I really do. It's so good for you. I just don't like ugly food I guess. Nothing is more discouraging when you're trying a new food and its glazed eye is looking back at you. I have yet to brave crab and lobster...we'll see, apparantly it tastes like chicken.

Pork is another food I don't like. It's dry, tough, greasy and flavourless. Ribs bother me as well. Biology 12 ruined them for me. Intercostal muscle? No thanks. It looks too much like a body part...I can't think of anything else when I see them. Vital organs are an obvious dislike...I don't really need to explain that. Duck, bear, elk, cougar (or the like)...I don't care if you shot it and are proud of your bread-winning capabilities, please don't make me eat your carcass.

Other obscure dislikes are: onions (I don't mind them in things, because they add flavour, I just don't like to know I'm eating them...I can't explain it), cooked peppers, croutons (and yet a caesar salad looks empty and unfinished without them) and raw broccoli. I'm not a huge fruit person either...mangoes, papaya, pears etc. With all of these dislikes, you'd think I'd have a disorder!

Because of all these "strange" dislikes, it makes it very stressful when I go to other people's houses for dinner...especially for the first time. I always worry about whether I'm going to have to choke down something I can hardly tolerate. It's happened so many times. I'll never forget going to the Houston's for dinner once and having the duck they had shot on their most recent hunting trip. I knew I was going to have a problem eating it because duck can be really greasy...sure enough I was sick that night. The camping trip with the Griffin's was worse though. Red Snapper had been bought for dinner one night. I declined having a piece, but it was insisted that I should have some because it was "so fresh." As if that made any fucking difference. So, being a polite guest, I choked it down...I sat there and prayed the whole night that it would stay down.

I don't really know why I've gone on about this for so long. I started because it was something that I have to explain to everyone eventually, so why not write it out and save myself the time and embarrassment. Also I guess, subconsciously, I wanted something for all of you to refer to if you ever invite me to dinner and wish me to have a pleasant evening!